Hello ladies and gentlemen, today I have sacrificed $5 of my own hard earned money to help you understand why modern ‘suspender belts’ are no good. You’re welcome.
A while ago I walked into a Sydney lingerie shop, just out of interest, to see what was available. I was trying to make sense of some sort of suspender belt when one of the shop assistants came over to ask me if I needed her help. She asked if I had ever worn a suspender belt before, I replied that I had and that I wear either a suspender belt or a girdle any time that I wear a skirt or dress, which is most of the time. She looked shocked and said, ‘but I thought you were only meant to wear them in the bedroom, they’re just designed to please boys…’
OH. MY. GOD.
That comment basically confirmed what I thought a lot of girls thought about suspenders and stockings, they are a tool that women use to convince men to have sex with them.
I personally do not wear them as a tool of seduction (although it can sometimes help in some situations, I will admit), I wear suspension because I prefer wearing stockings to pantyhose. However, many brands seem to think that they are worth wearing so I thought I would give them go.
My original intention was to wear them for a day at work and then report back. I tried the belt on tonight, just to make sure it fit, however… I couldn’t bear wearing the damn thing for more than ten minutes, so I scrapped that idea.
This ‘suspender belt’ is from Target and cost me $5 AUD in the sale. It’s a size 14.
So why is this ‘suspender belt’ so bad? The reason that I cannot stand these things is that they cause a lot of women to hate wearing stockings and suspension. As a lot of people don’t know a great deal about good underwear, they think that this is the only style available. The truth is that when women were wearing stockings on a daily basis in the 1950s and thereabouts, they had to wear strong foundations as they were moving around all day, going about their daily business – There is no way that they would have worn anything as flimsy as this. Some women have worn these things for a few hours and felt their stockings slipping down, causing bagginess around their ankles and knees and requiring the wearer to continuously pull up the belt. This is very off-putting and I can understand why, after wearing this type of suspender belt, they wouldn’t want to wear stockings or anything related to stockings again.
Not only does the belt provide very little support to the stockings, but unless you have zero body fat, you’re very likely to get a good few bulges. Good suspender belts are deep and provide firm control to the tummy and hips, this pink thing however is just unflattering. It was also quite uncomfortable as it cut into me.
Plus, I think it’s pretty ugly…
Below are some photos of me, in my new least favourite suspender belt. Sorry for not wearing a bra but I didn’t feel like it.
Check out the back strap, struggling with my bubble butt…
The one good thing about this belt is that it has metal clips, however they are covered up by (my pet hate) ribbons.
So ladies, if you want to look sexy or you just want to keep your stockings from ending up around your ankles, don’t waste your money on this rubbish, invest in a strong, structured piece from a good brand.